Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Being Me!

It's not easy being me at the best of times.  I'm too open and honest which gets me into a lot of trouble, and as my friend Maria described me, the three methods of communication are "Telephone, Telegram and Telamanda!", however I would like to point out that I can actually keep some things quiet such as.......HAH! GOT YOU THERE!!!!!

I'm a "larger" lady and currently following the weight watchers plan and to be honest not doing too well. I'm finding it really tough and at the moment just want to stick my  head in a HUGE GOOEY quiche! Darling Hubby is doing brilliantly and I am so proud of him, if a little jealous.   I have a full life, married to Matt, and we have 3 children, Adam 8, Amy 4 and Edward (Spud 20 months).  We also have my 16yr old son Tony from my 1st marriage living here and an insane cat called Merlin (Goobers!). 

On the whole life is pretty good, I have a great relationship with my inlaws, and for the first time have a really nice home, we have a car and I have a fantastic group of friends who are loyal, downright pretty and are very good for me!  So why do I constantly worry about things??????  Perhaps  boredom is the key.  My mind needs stimulating I think, perhaps my fingers need to stay away from the fridge and onto other things.

I have been in therapy for panick attacks and worrying, and so far cross fingers I have had very few attacks, however I do have times of deep depression when my "Hippochondria" goes into overdrive and I check everywhere.

So there you go, being me is hard work, sometimes I wish I could be myself and not have to be a different person or hold back with how I feel and have to put emotions on hold so as not to offend anyone. One day, one day I say with a sigh.

Never Blogged before, so WAKE UP!!!!

Kooks xxxxxxxxxxxxx


  1. Hey, I'm your first follower :-)

    Welcome to the world of blogging.

  2. Hi,
    Great, honest first blog. What is it about staying at home with children that makes you lose confidence and find self doubts? I can relate to what you have written so much. With my first child (now 22) I worked from when he was 4 months old and was a sole parent from when he was 2. I used to dream of being a stay at home Mum and being able to help him more with his homework, etc. My second child is 7 and I have stayed at home throughout. Yes I get to do all of the school journeys and homework and don't get me wrong I love being with him, but where has my confidence gone? Some days I feel as if I could disappear up my own tail pipe. So, in conclusion, you are not alone. Mx