Its official, I never finish anything!. I have started so many projects in my nearly 40 years from Open University courses to knitting, from weightwatchers to Slimming World and have never seen it through to the end, and I feel like a total failure. 3 marriages and 7 children, one of whom is in care well thats the icing on the cake.
I admit I have no willpower or stamina. I have lots of enthusiasm to the point of obsessiveness about the project and then when I start it for some reason it all seems to peter out. Never figured out why and to be honest as I type this Im hounded by my children asking me questions and arguing with each other. I woke up with the lurgey and lack of voice this morning so tempers are fairly frayed, especially when trying to communicate with loud children who cant hear my gravelly strain of a voice!
I have noticed in the past few weeks exactly how tied I am to technology. My computer goes on first thing in the morning as does my mobile phone. Last nights fun and games was an excellent example of how we can become involved with something that was invented as a "tool" to help us instead, at home here, matt and I have become dependent on the computer which at certain times is a bad thing.
So I have made this decision. Over the period of Lent, which starts on Tuesday March 8th, I am going to pull the plug on my computer AND put away my mobile telephone for 40 days. I have a perfectly good telephone with answering machine which is very rarely used these days. So if anyone reading this needs to get in touch with me, then there are two ways of doing so. Using the home telephone or calling round!
I say I am going to TRY this for 40 days. It is important to me as last night Matt and I worked badly with me feeling resentful towards him as he was constantly tapping away on his computer while I was trying to deal with our daughter who was refusing to go to bed whilst feeling very lousy and voice was going. It was after 15 minutes of tapping away and hearing him swear under his breath that he pulled away and dealt with her.
How can I condone his behavour when I am now doing it on here.
So there we go, that is my decision, and I will try and stick to 40 days living without a computer or mobile telephone.
Wish me luck. I am hoping that during this time my relationship with my children could improve and perhaps I may even get round to doing a few tasks around the house that have been left for many months.
Hugs to you all
manda xxxx
